what i never
from my mother
just because someone desires you
not mean they value you.
desire is the kind of thing that
leaves you starving.
The Color of Low Self Esteem (Nayyirah Waheed)
SUN: SCORPIO 17
The mountain abode of a hermit.
A stronghold for secrets, hidden purposes, and inward streams to thrive and prevail. You live several lives in one, harboring the brightest, the darkest, the strangest, and the most wondrous worlds. Accustomed to the shadows and to meditation, prayer, and extraordinary discipline. Remaining in here forever. Absolutely uninvolved with surface affairs, no outer life whatsoever. But inwardly deep, intense, and overwhelmingly driven. Following through on ancient vows. A grim, heavy, somber tone. The capacity for root transformation and extraordinary realization. Your central focus is to be with God in the silence steadfastly, and there is nothing else that comes even close to feeling all the way through, on and true.
MOON TAURUS 28
A man making candles out of beeswax.
The sweetness is in the returning to those sacred places always known and now being at ease there. The natural man strips away false layers and finds somebody underneath who is poignantly familiar and resonantly true. The search, the quest, the process. The intricate, extended process. For everything depends upon entering the process and giving yourself over to the master-craftsman-hands of the Creator Beings. You are simply a seed blown by the wind, and to become this completely is blissful fruition inwardly smiled into being.
RISING CAPRICORN 14
Beads carved from human bone.
The body carries memories of every world we have ever been through. These memory strings or beads bind us to the Earth. We feel pinned to the spot, responsible for everything that happens around us—somehow the one in charge. For we are carrying the continuous memory and legacy of the ancient mystery-streams and of forgotten modes of knowledge. We bear the treasures intact. It makes everything count. It means that we cannot get away from ourselves or our fate for a moment; we are compelled to fulfill our vows and to bring into this world the towering awareness and strange resonance of the giants, of the ancestors, of the great ones, of the inner ways. Never lost; impossible to forget.
I know that when she is gone I’m gonna miss the way her poop stuck to her butt hair and how she scooted across the floor, smearing shit in little lines, then climbed up into my lap for a spanking…
5th Ave Cinema in Portland is screening films by Maya Deren tomorrow night, along with some of Stan Brakhage’s short films. I am thrilled! Who wants to be my date?
seriously. I listened to her album over and over at my house cleaning job today. She was enchanting.
Wish she could have played all night, still stoked I finally got to see her.
David Attenborough’s narration is almost as dear to me as Carl Sagan’s.
Thinking about bats
faig ahmed’s Embroidered Art
When you think of traditional carpets from Azerbaijan, the thought of contemporary art does not quickly spring to mind… but these beautiful, and modern works will change that. Faiq Ahmed, a native of the Eurasian nation, has taken his countries old-school art form and brought it beautifully into the current era, deconstructing the ancient process of weaving and adapting it to todays contemporary art forms.
PSA for fans of my personal favorite genera of film, natural disaster films (Day After Tomorrow, 2012, Dantes Peak, Volcano, etc…):
I have been taking breaks in my studies of plate tectonics to watch the made for T.V. film (ehem…MOTION PICTURE EVENT) 10.5, and I can assure you it is worth your while. The first few moments give you the gift of a pop punk listening Seattle Chad BMXing his way through an earthquake, you will also be treated to: bad acting, ridiculous scientific fallacies, the ever present trope of the bad dad redeeming himself, as well as watching mayhem and destruction of well known cities along the west coast.
It’s on Netflix. Go ahead and treat yourself.
"Eclipses ask you to make friends with the dark – the darkness of the mysterious, unknowable Great Mystery, the darkness of your own deep, yucky feelings now erupting to the surface. This is a time for invoking TRUST and COURAGE. Trusting the cycle of death and rebirth, trusting that there WILL be a rebirth, even if you’re currently stuck in the dark and the dying with no signs of new life. The courage to feel your intense feelings, shed another layer, and let go of what wants to end."
When I was a pup I snuck outta my friends room at night while her big sister watched IT. I hid in the hallway and horrified myself watching. For years after I couldn’t sleep at night. I was sure IT was on a rocket over my room waiting to light me on fire. I lived in phoenix in a small old house with no air conditioning, but even on those scorching summer nights I would sleep fully wrapped in blankets so he wouldn’t see me. Some nights i would cross the border of my half of the room to my sisters half and squeeze into her bed to be safe. That’s my story.